The Mad Adventures of Paper Money


Ever wonder why our paper currency deteriorates so rapidly. I mean a couple of years from the issuance of a brand new crisp note and the paper goes limp and tattered, the whole note seems to be covered with a layer of ‘hazy-brownish-gunk’, for want of a better description, plus the colors are no longer as bright any more and it smells, what’s more. There must be a reason for this, this is my guess:

The old tattered money in our wallets (lower denominations mostly) have, chances are, passed through the digestive tracts of a beggar or two at some point. Now if that won’t get you to wash your hands after handling money, I don’t know what will!

We see them at traffic stops and in rush hour walking between slow moving metal chariots, sometimes chasing after a large shinny car hoping its well fed occupant might deign to give them an ‘alf’ or ‘khames-talef’ before rolling up his/her window. These kids, who should ideally be in school, are exploited by adults, and are as tightly regimented as any structured corporation. The money people give them ends up in adult pockets. The only way these kids can keep any of the money for themselves is by eating some of it and collecting it after it passes through… and accrues interest so to speak!

Yes, its quiet disgusting to contemplate, but a plausible theory nonetheless, after all what would cause currency printed on high tech modern security paper to deteriorate so rapidly: Stomach acid of course! Most paper is cellulose-based, paper used for printing currency is more sophisticated, but the same general principle applies. I wonder what the Middle Eastern central banks thinks of this matter, and if they replace any of the tattered old currency once it gets to a point when it’s almost unrecognizable as currency and therefore no longer accepted at shops and restaurants.

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