Lebanon and its Unhappy People

Lebanon is a rare commodity these days, one of the few Arab countries without a facebook revolution. This is more than just an interesting bit of trivia, it’s a fact we should be capitalizing on, fixing our infrastructure, improving our public services: transport, power, water, communication, going at it hammer and tongs, full speed ahead to attract foreign investors, value creators, all those leaving the sinking ships of North Africa and Arabia. We should be aiming to attract all the wealthy exiles thrown out by their revolutions and all their capital. Now that would really make us the Switzerland of the Middle East.

But our financial system is already choking with excess liquidity, plagued as we are by dull edged, unimaginative bankers and policy makers who can’t find enough creative ways to invest all the money in their vaults. Greenfields and Start ups, the nutrient-rich topsoil of economic activity in any country, have the hardest time of all getting access to funds. Simply put to start your own business you need to have collateral or have a backer or patron with collateral. Having a really good business plan, a get up and go attitude, years of experience, the skill and talent to make your business succeed, will get you no where with financiers. The best you could expect, maybe, is a patronizing pat on the back and a finger pointing you towards the door.

And before any one says that Lebanon has institutions and organizations that fund start ups, its true enough, such organizations do exist, but their resources are miniscule and they are unable to meet the immense demand. I’m afraid that all their well meaning efforts are but a drop in the ocean.

How do you create jobs? In one of two ways: the stupid way, by creating a bloated civil service, or the smart way, encouraging the young and talented to open up their own businesses and give them tax breaks to grow and employ other young and talented people. Even the most business friendly governments in Lebanon have done little more than pay lip service to supporting young entrepreneurs. The facts speak for themselves: we are a deeply unhappy people who pick up our diplomas on our way to the airport!

When will this sad state of affairs change? When will the tribalism, sectarianism and nepotism so ingrained in our Lebanese psyche give way to a more open minded and accepting society willing to take a chance on a young entrepreneur? When will we recognize that in order to be happy we must insure our fellow citizens are happy also?

IT’S NOT THE TRAFFIC, IT’S THE PEOPLE

I keep telling anyone who would listen that it’s not the traffic that bothers me in Lebanon, because the worst jams I have been in pale in comparison to Dubai or London traffic jams. What bothers me and pushes my buttons are the people and their attitude to driving, which makes driving a real chore and a gauntlet to run all the while praying to God you make it home in one piece. People in Lebanon simply drive too fast, everyone seems really intent at getting where they are going in a hurry, but its really a lot of activity with very little result: Harake bala barake.

I have recently discovered the pleasures of driving really slowly, I don’t mean I crawl down the road; I just stick to the speed limit. But that behavior alone seems to anger many drivers, many of whom have shown me the finger on numerous occasions. I will continue to drive safely and slowly because it simply makes me feel better and my health and stress levels have improved immensely. So, drivers all, I’m the annoying slow one on the road to the extreme right, so just over take me, no need to make a statement of indignation about it.

ALL ABOUT TAXIS

The other day I was without my trusty car and I had to take a taxi. One of the few things in Lebanon that work really well is the radio taxi. You call them up and they are at you door in minutes, provided you live within a certain geographic area. But, getting a taxi on the streets is a real test of your patience and skill at bargaining as they have no meters. How uncivilized I hear you say, well that’s all part and parcel of unbridled capitalism, or at least the way the Lebanese understand capitalism. In short, taxis quote their prices based on the look of the client, one price for the foreign tourist another for the Lebanese.

Stop any taxi on the street and ask him how much he would charge for a trip from point A to point Z and he will likely put his hand to his chin, stare at the ceiling deep in thought and say: “how much would you pay?” Offer to pay a reasonable price and chances are he will start telling you how expensive fuel prices are and how awful the traffic is at that particular time of day. It is a certainty that you will actually end up paying LL 5,000 to LL 10,000 more for your trip than you should. Call up a radio taxi on the other hand and you are quoted a fixed rate, nice, simple, straight forward, the way everyone should do business.

DRESSED TO IMPRESS

The Lebanese never dress for comfort, only to impress. If they buy an expensive coat they have to wear it a certain number of days in the year to justify its purchase, even if they have to swelter under an unseasonably warm sun. Spring is the season to take off as few layers as possible until the weather becomes so unbearably warm that it forces even the most stubborn to break out the T-shirts and polos. Autumn, by contrast is the season to keep wearing summer clothes for as long as possible. As a result both seasons are known by another name ‘flu season’.

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