Persiflage & Paroxysm

By Hani M Bathish We walked through the halls of justice unafraid, unperturbed by judicial pomp, We were boastful of our exploits, proud, serene, aloof, above it all. Always ready to turn to tatters reputations hard won in years; Ready to mark their shame with indelible ink; We were the Court Reporters of Dubai. They knew us by our names: Mary, Hani, Bassam, Awad, and Ali... ... And more that followed and more that passed before. We hunted in packs, at times alone, in the halls of justice we prowled, Ready to pounce, to grab our pound of flesh and keep it all ourselves. We sniffed the scent of guilt a mile, Friends to every lawyer, clerk and bailiff; Our guile and cheerful ways opened many doors that had been long shut. We were the Court Reporters of Dubai Chroniclers of woe, witnesses to many a fall; Recorders of many notorious deeds... some among us were legend. But we were more… Our pens shone the cleansing light of truth into the darkest crevice; We were the people’s eyes. Remember...

It seems that every step we human beings take on our planet leaves behind some form of smelly gaseous, or watery, or solid residue, its disgusting as I am sure you will all agree. But the Lebanese are alone in flaunting their total and utter contempt for the environment in their daily living habits. We have turned spewing into an art form. We have miracles on wheels in Lebanon, vehicles that should have been put out of their misery a long time ago, spewing white clouds of poison as they go. A walk in certain parts of Beirut at certain times of day is likely to make you sick; seriously, you literally feel nautious and dizzy. Add to the summer heat the fact that the number of vehicles on the roads seems to have doubled, probably due to the influx of tourists to our beautiful land. But the question is for how much longer will this land remain beautiful or livable? Forget the toxic gases from your vehicle and the fact we seem to be living in a huge garage of a country and are slowly killin...

“300 horses, one jack ass!” Thus goes the new public service advert designed to spotlight the dangerous road behavior of the Lebanese. The 300 horses of course refer to the horse power of the Lebanese road racer’s chariot. The jack ass is the smug bastard who sits behind the wheel. The image is as simple as it is compelling, a perfect description of a tragic reality. It’s a tragedy that unfolds each day as the Lebanese crowd the roads on their way to work, mostly one to a car, churning out a dizzying, heady mix of toxic gases, not realizing they are slowly killing themselves. But the Lebanese are more concerned with the immediate and sudden causes of death, like that one and a half ton chunk of metal hurtling towards them, wondering if it will swerve or stop in time or not. Where does the Lebanese road culture come from? The answer is, according to some self appointed philosophers, “it’s always been like this.” What they really mean is they never remember anything better. True Lebanese...

A Journey to The Arctic Circle and Christmas! By Hani M Bathish Riding snow mobiles over the frozen river Ounas in Finnish Lapland with the first spring thaw setting in, is an extreme adventure for someone born and raised in a desert land. This is especially the case when all you have on your mind, apart from the stunning views, is "what do I do if the ice breaks and I fall through." The sand in Sharjah at least never melted away beneath your feet. A trip to the arctic circle is for many a once in a lifetime experience but one well worth the trouble as this reporter found out while on a five-day trip to the Land of the Midnight Sun in late April 2002. The trip was organized for journalists and travel agents by Kanoo Holidays in Dubai and KLM and designed to introduce the Gulf market to the tourism potential of Finland. Finland, the land of stunning white landscapes, reindeers and Santa Claus, is such an attractive destination simply because for us in the Middle East it is tru...